Well I found a way today to get unstuck from the middle of what sucks. There were only two things I needed to do. The first thing I did was to listen to "Maybe" by my favorite Spoken Word Artist, Harry Baker, again, and again.
I took his advice and started showing a little bit of kindness to myself. So, I thought, why not shop? Then I went out and dropped over $1,100 on a Mesa Boogie 50 Watt Rectifier 2x12 Guitar Amplifier. I am a Musician and a Composer and I am putting together a band, so I thought "Why the hell not?"
It's NOT an unaffordable long-term plan, but it sure felt good today! "One day at a time" like they say in AA!